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100 Tips for Nannies and Families

The advice in this book comes from Candi Wingate, President of Care4hire.com.
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Helping Your Kids Understand Healthy Loving Relationships

You want your kids to grow up to have healthy, loving relationships with the spouses they will choose when they become adults and the children that may bless their unions.  Here are a few tips to help you accomplish this object.

*Model the behaviors that you want your kids to exhibit.  Kids learn by example.  They watch what you do and will likely grow to replicate many of your behaviors.  Ensure that your behaviors are the kind that you want your kids to exhibit.

*Ensure that the people in your kids’ environment model the behaviors that you want your kids to exhibit.  As noted above, kids learn by example.  While you are their primary role model, your kids will observe and replicate the behaviors of many people in their environment.  Ensure that the examples set for your kids are models of healthy relationships.

*Discuss healthy ways to give and receive love, define and reinforce personal boundaries, self-image, and self-esteem.  Open and honest discussions with your kids are excellent ways of clarifying these important issues.  Ensure that your kids feel comfortable asking you any questions they may have.

*Monitor how your kids relate with others, providing guidance as warranted.  These youthful relationships are the foundation upon which later adult relationships are built.  Healthy boundaries and relationships need to be in place early, so start coaching and counseling early.  Know who your kids’ friends are and how they relate with their friends.  When you see noteworthy behaviors, provide prompt, direct, and specific feedback to your kids.  This can be as simple as, “I saw you befriend the new kid in the neighborhood this afternoon.  That was very kind of you.  Watching you lead the other kids in the neighborhood and guide them to being open to receiving a new friend made me feel very proud to be your dad.”  Feedback can also be more extensive.  “I saw how Chris tripped you as you walked, and I saw Chris laugh when you fell.  I know you think Chris is your friend, but I’m not sure friends treat each other this way.  Let’s talk about healthy boundaries in relationships, ok?”

By following the tips above, you can help your kids grow up to have healthy, loving relationships with the spouses they will choose when they become adults and the children that may bless their unions.

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