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Father’s Day with Dad and Step-Dad

You are blessed to have TWO great father figures in your life:  your dad and your step-dad.  You would like to spend time with both men on Father’s Day, but you do not want either to feel hurt by or resentful of the time you spend with the other.  What can you do?

If both men are able to set emotion aside, you can rationally explain your position to them.  You may say, for example, “Dad, I love you, and I can’t wait to spend Father’s Day with you!  My step-dad has also helped parent me, and I would like to recognize that as well.  What I’d like to do is have either lunch or dinner with you and spend a few hours thereafter with you as well . . . and then spend the other meal with my step-dad.  Are you ok with this plan?  If so, is lunch or dinner better for you?”  Your conversation with your step-dad would then go as follows:  “I love you, and I can’t wait to spend Father’s Day with you!  I also want to spend some time with my dad on Father’s Day: I know he wasn’t always around for me like you have been, but he’s my dad nonetheless.  If it’s all right with you, I’ll have lunch with my dad, I’ll spend a few  hours with him after lunch, and then I’ll have dinner with you and we’ll make an evening of it.  Are you ok with this plan?”  (Alternatively, you can let your step-dad choose the meal and offer the remaining meal to your dad.)

If one or both men are sufficiently emotionally engaged in the dad-versus-dad rivalry that they cannot accept sharing your time on Father’s Day, then your best approach is to state what time you are willing to spend with each person and not specify what you will do with the remainder of your day.  If one of the men balks at not having the full day with you, all you need to state is that you are spending time with him because you love him, but that you have other tasks to attend to on that day as well.

When you make plans for both of your Father’s Day recognitions, it’s best to plan an activity that is special to you and your dad or step-dad.  For example, if you and your dad used to ice skate together, then finding an indoor rink at which you can ice skate is a nice, validating touch for Father’s Day.  Another example is, if you and your step-dad have spent hours watching Disney movies together, then you can choose the Disney movie that was the favorite for both of you and watch that together on Father’s Day.

No matter how you spend Father’s Day, we at Care4Hire.com wish you a wonderful day of connecting with that special dad (or those special dads) in your life.

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